No Time for Livin'- So Get Busy Dying!

On a brief first note- I'm back! I technically said I would blog yesterday when I landed back home, but I was in shameful hiding from an overall lack of pop culture dosage until this evening. Now, having seen both "Wanted" and "WALL-E", I feel back to my usual, cynical self and am ready to get this baby moving again!

It used to be something of a stamp of certification that in a classic Disney movie, the parents never lived. As I sit here, I am having extreme difficulty remembering a single animated flick in which both the mother and father of the hero/heroine made it through the entirety of the feature. If they didn't die over the course of the film itself, they just weren't there to begin with- whether from a previous conflict or just lack of narrative space. The only time I remember ma and pa hitting the credits was in "Hercules", and that's because good ol' Hera and Zeus were immortal. This loss of a caretaker was not however just simply passed over in a light manner. The absence of the main character's mother or father had a profound effect of their lives, and oftentimes was the focal point of inspiration for their actions throughout the plot line. Simba sends himself into exile over the death of Mufasa, Pocahontas carried her mother's free spirit and necklace wherever she went, and Bambi was forced to fend for himself after mommy gets shot by hunters. Coping with living without a parent, once upon a time, was the biggest obstacle that a child could face. They were forced to reform how they lived their life to coincide with the legacy their ancestor had left for them. The heroes of the movies would go in search of the spirt of life itself, and where- whether in the stars, the leaves or the ocean one went when they left it. After seeing two of the summer's biggest kid-flicks: "Kung Fu Panda" and "WALL-E", I noticed that, while Po's mother is MIA (noting that "Panda" is Dreamworks, not Disney), the issues at stake in the two movies are much larger than figuring out how to save one's own life. Both Po the Panda and "WALL-E" must discover ways to save everyone else's. 

I feel a bit like an old "babushka" when I make the observance that children today seem to have grown up faster than ever. My old-lady-like feelings continue when I see that parents now seem to have no issue in taking their charges to what I consider to be intense action films such as "Iron Man", and based on the already plentiful toys and merchandising, "Dark Knight". Kids of the new millennium are less easily phased than ones in the past- not as quickly moved to emotion or wonder. Like the pre-renaissance babies, they are more adult than youth. Stephen King once made the prophetic statement, "If being a kid is about learning how to live, then being a grown-up is about leaning how to die." Based on children's' movies of the past year or two, King's prediction seems right on target. Since youth is shorter than ever, kids watching movies need not be taught how to fix their own lives- they are instead tasked with fixing the world. Global responsibility is the new keyword for morality. The selfish little princesses of the past are gone. Who cares about Snow White finding Prince Charming or Ariel becoming a human to kiss Prince Eric? We have to prevent global warming! Yes, I do acknowledge the climate crisis and the need to cut back and find alternative energy sources- but does a 6-year old need to as well? While "WALL-E" does have its touching moments of love... between two robots..., it is almost secondary to the greater cause at hand, which is to repopulate and un-pollute the earth. Po goes on a journey of self-discovery through Kung-Fu, but does so mainly for the benefit of his village, not for his own well-being. My jaw quite literally dropped at the climax's solution, where Po the fuzzy Panda warrior didn't simply punish the bad guy moderately, or bring him to jail, but flat out obliterated him. The friends I was seeing it with at the time remarked also on the oddly gruesome conclusion. Although I have completed childhood myself, I'd like to think that my time in its midst isn't too far off for me to just a bit of recollecting. From what I do remember, I can tell you that it was a complicated, and rough time. I can think back on laying in bed at night- not being able to sleep because I was so verklempt over what pondering happened when a person died. I literally couldn't close my eyes for bed. Maybe not every kid faces such a great personal debate, but in the first 12 or so years of life, there is a lot of figuring out to be done. It irks me greatly that an elementary school student is now supposed to take on the role of Atlas and carry the world around on their shoulders along with all their own personal burdens. For once, I'm asking for just a little selfishness here. Let the girls go out in search of their Princes, and the boys battling the dragons keeping them, and leave saving the  world for the adults. In my own eyes, true love should come first.

Coming Soon

Who's Afraid of Pop Culture returns June 29th!!

(See Note at conclusion of previous post)

Top 10 for the Over-90 Set

Tuesday night, the American Film Institute (AFI) once again illustrated its total lack of touch with popular culture and contemporary American reality. Every summer, the AFI comes up with a sappy television special that chronicles the "Ten Best" of a particular film genre or subsection; my personal favorite year was a listing of the top 100 movie quotes of all time. Of course, even this brilliant conception was ruined by the fact that those who select the annual winners haven't seen a movie since 1998. 

I realize that we are living in what some may call a "sad state" of American cinema, but stupidity aside, films continue to be one of the strongest cultural phenomena in our country, and the newer, funnier and more expensive- the better. I realize that "Gone With the Wind" is a so-called "classic", but I haven't met ten people in my life who have managed to sit through the entire thing. Thus, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" has about as much business at the top of the quotation list as "Citizen Kane" does heading the best 100 films of all time. If we're going by frequency of usage and recognition, I'd have to go with one of the lines from "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy". I don't know how many times I have walked through the hallways of my school and heard, "I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal", or "LOUD NOISES". I've even seen witty t-shirts bearing the pictorial equivalent of "I love lamp". While these selections may lack class, I don't think I've ever heard someone under thirty quote "Gone With the Wind" without a rapid ass-kicking shortly following. 

While some of the categories of the "Ten Top 10" were well executed in selection, many were populated with flicks bearing titles that are met with shoulder shrugs and questioning of their actual existence. I'm going to address the "gangster" category first, purely because it just so happens to be my favorite genre of film. I felt as if the picks here were intelligent choices. Many pre-date my, and in some cases, my parents' birth dates, but still are frequently watched by the current generation. "The Godfather", "Goodfellas" and "Godfather Part II" leading the lineup allows me particular bragging rights following a recent movie night at my house featuring screening of those exact three movies, as well as a lavish Italian buffet to complete the theme. I was however, irked by the absence of recent best picture winner "The Departed". 

As much as I was impressed by the accuracy of the gangster category, I was outraged by the selection of Westerns. Yes, yes we all know that the nuanced John Wayne classic "The Searchers" was revolutionary and socially relevant, but really, is that why people watch Westerns? Where was the Clint Eastwood love? Yes, Unforgiven took a spot in the lineup, but imdb's headlining Western, "The Good the Bad and the Ugly" didn't even place! In my humble opinion, watching Blondie take on Tuco and Angel Eyes in a gun-fight to end all others beats morning about the "Lost Frontier" any day. 

I won't go through every category, because frankly, I myself haven't even seen many of these films. I think the only choices under the "Courtroom Drama" section that I have ever heard mentioned or watched personally are "To Kill a Mockingbird" and "12 Angry Men". The "epics" list was full of sappy and overlong oldies, though I did smile at the inclusion of "Reds"- the most beautiful and politically relevant love story I've ever witnessed. Potential dates take note: I'd rather see Warren Beatty as John Reed run from anti-communist gunfire into Lousie Bryant's arms at a Soviet train-station that roll my eyes to the familiar and boring "romantic comedies" such as "Sleepless in Seattle". Oh wait, my mistake. AFI seems to think those sort of movies warrant their own list as well. Apparently though, I am more out of touch with this portion of cinema than I thought. Coming in at Number 1 is some old Charlie Chaplin flick called "City Lights". I don't watch many of these sorts of movies, but in my eyes, Charlie Chaplin has the sex appeal level of a squashed zucchini. 

The last section I'll give my input on is fantasy. I honestly don't think that the committee even bothered to watch the submissions here. "The Wizard of Oz" was a landmark in cinema, but even me, a musical-die-hard would rather see one of the epic battle scenes in "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King" than the Cowardly Lion. Oh wait, "Return of the King" wasn't even on the short list! Instead, we have part one of the trilogy, "Fellowship of the Ring"; widely considered to be the weakest of the series.  I was also disappointed at seeing the pedophile fantasy "Big" coming in at number 10, rather than the film that the kids with class occupied themselves with; "Princess Bride".

The AFI specials frequently become the highlight of my summer television viewing, if only for the lack of better things to watch and the countdown to the first place winners that I always anticipate will bring heated debates and fiery words reigning down upon my house for weeks to come. Although it would be my own recommendation for the AFI committee before next year's voting, to include younger members on its selection board- ones who have a live pulse on the movie scene today, instead of checking for the heartbeat of one of the many dead corpses that continue to show up on the "Top 100" series year after year.

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Note: I will once again be departing on another road trip tomorrow morning, and will not be returning until next Sunday. Until then, take what you've learned on this blog and go out into the world unafraid to take your own opinions and perspectives on the culture around you. Don't forget to check back next Sunday!

-Jordan 

Cinephiles Beware! Welcome to the Drive-In.

The other night, I arrived home at 1:45 in the morning, having successfully completed what was the first of many summer night trips to the drive-in movie theatre. Living in Colorado does have its advantages, and while the drive-in is one of only about three establishments open past midnight, even with options, I would still venture out to the edge of town to partake in its wonders. 

Like eating out at a nice restaurant and riding the ferris wheel, going to the drive-in is not something to engage in alone. While it has long been a prime spot for couples to snuggle under the stars and a B-movie, the most enjoyable way to visit is with a large group of people. Breaking out the lawn chairs and spreading out the blankets in the back of a truck creates an optimal environment for diversion. Unlike those stodgy theatres, at the drive-in, talking throughout the flick is highly encouraged. Cinephiles everywhere must flee from these outdoor screens by the droves. The sound is fuzzy, the picture worse and little kids run about constantly. 

With the high prices at the concession stands of regular theatres and even higher ticket prices, large families go for the two-for-one bargain of the drive-in. Sometimes, the scene can be frightening as it unfolds before you. To those of you unfamiliar with cowboy culture, a recent spoting on my part involved three youngsters running around with pocket knives while their parents sat smoking cigarettes in the back of a pick up. This is not unusual. Weapon wielding tykes aside, the lax atmosphere makes for more enjoyable repeat viewings of films. Upon my third time visiting "The Incredible Hulk" since its release, last night I proceeded to act out my own personal interpretation of the final battle scene, which anyone who has seen the movie, will tell you is epic. My improvised "Hulk Smash" was truly a sight to behold. 

Unless you live in a unkempt trailer parked in some unsavory location, the whole of the situation I have described may sound a tad frightening, but I must make this plee, though I believe it may come about thirty years too late. Should you still be fortunate enough to live close to a drive-in movie theatre, visit it! Buy food at it! While the nostalgia aspect of their presence is beginning to hint at a come-back, drive-ins are equivalent to pandas on the endangered species list. While it may be simpler to just pop in a DVD, or one of those new-fangled "Blu-Rays", watching a big screen kiss between Edward Norton and Liv Tyler under the stars and full moon truly has no comparison. Maybe you'll even get to see me Hulk Smash.

Bitten By the Vampire

Wizards are so passe. With the (popular would be an understatement) Harry Potter series completed last summer, the hordes of young teen readers went out in search of another fantastical adventure to occupy themselves with something other than fan fiction between the Potter movies release dates. The soon-to-be trilogy of Eragon, chronicling the adventures of a young knight and his female dragon pal, drove many fans away following the poorly produced film version and the sloppy second installment. Instead, Rowling and Paolini followers have been flocking toward a new author, Stephenie Meyer, and her new saga of novels, "Twilight", "New Moon", Eclipse", and on August second, "Breaking Dawn". While vampire stories, since Bram Stoker's "Dracula", have relied on sexual relations as a key tool for horror and allurement, Meyer, an observant Mormon, has transitioned this lust to what seems to be a more effective (and appropriate) level of involvement. Rather than the creepy licks, bites and sucks that creatures of the night typically have been known to dole out, the vamps in Meyer's novels need hundreds of pages merely to build up to hand holding. I attempted to read "Twlight" about a year ago, and was so outraged at this taming of the beast, that I immediately returned it to my friend, who then proceeded to verbally abuse me for my opinions. As an avid follower of horror fiction, I wanted desperately to enjoy this new generation of evil, but to me, the romantic male hero of the series, Edward Cullen, a vampire who appallingly snacks on animal blood, was effectively a neutering of one of my favorite mystical creatures. 

Stephen King's "Danse Macabe", a literary work which one can safely call the "Bible" of horror films, books and mythology leading up until 1980, explains vampires in one of the most exact definitions that I have ever read:

"Beauty and the beast. You are in my power. Heh-heh-heh. It's that primal rape scene again. And the primal, perverse rapist is the Vampire, stealing not only sexual favors but life itself."

While "Dracula" set the foundation for the blood-sucking mythos, most of my personal experience and love of this particular monster comes from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". No, I'm not ashamed to say it loud and proud. I own every season of the show on DVD, and frequently work out to repeated viewings of my favorite episodes. If you even existed in the late 1990's, I'm sure that you were forced or volunteered to see the vamps strolling the streets of Sunnydale- carrying no small hints of bondage. While we did encounter the occasional sympathetic demon on the program- most famously, Angel and Spike, the rest of their race were frequently ugly (a mortal sin on "Buffy"), stupid and very very evil. To me, this is how the genre was meant to be done. At least, in regards to the first five seasons. After that the show became something of an exercise in idiocy. In their human forms, the vampires referred to wayward humans in sexual nicknames including, "toy", "puppy", "dog" and "dessert". I think there was more torture- at least implied- done by the baddies on "Buffy" than on/by Jack Bauer on "24". 

The vampire romance genre has been employed frequently by authors in genres ranging from horror to pornographic romance, and until now have always played their role as the sexual predator, one with whom the viewer/reader and heroine of the work is not entirely turned off by. While I always can appreciate and acknowledge a new interpretation, until the next rabidly sexual, totally evil vamp decides to rear his handsome head, I'll be occupying myself with the adventures of Buffy, Willow, and some serious slaying action, which in my book, beats hand holding any day. 

Remember

It seems as if over the past month, we have seen a saddening amount of celebrity passings- lives taken unfairly in their prime, with brilliant work left unfinished, and souls that have moved on after years full of accomplishment and honor. I'd like to take this entry to remind you of three of these men, and their notable accomplishments.

Stan Winston, age 62

Passed away June 15th of multiple myeloma:

Stan Winston pioneered some of the most astounding sfx and make-up seen in contemporary cinema. He imagined new worlds and technology- never drifting far from the human touch and recognition that made his work so beautiful. While his name isn't a household one, his work stands for itself. Winston had his first brush with fame in 1984 when he was chosen to design the robot army effects for "The Terminator". Director James Cameron later asked him to join another of his following productions; Aliens. Winston continued his work on T2: Judgement Day and was later drafted to bring the giant dinosaurs of "Jurassic Park" to life. "Jurassic Park" was the first PG-13 movie my parents allowed me to see, and I vividly recall the moment that T-Rex showed up blowing steam onto the car window. I didn't sleep for a week. Winston acted as a consultant on the recent hit "Iron Man" and was tapped already for working on Jurassic Park IV. Winston's other projects included "Edward Scissorhands", "Big Fish", and "Batman Returns". Personally, my favorite Winston work would be his animatronics in "AI: Artificial Intelligence". Winston had the power not only to create robots who destroyed the world, but also ones who were able to wrench your heart out and make you dive for the tissue box.

Bo Diddley, age 79

Passed away June 2nd of heart failure

Even if you've never heard a Bo Diddley melody, you've most certainly seen one of the guitars he popularized. "The Twang Machine", a rectangular Gretsch, was as unique and groovy as his  songs. He was a unifier; bringing together street musicianship and professional performance, folk songs and popular beats, and most notably, blues and rock and roll. His self-titled song, "Bo Diddley" has been played at more swing dancing lessons and rockabilly parties than I care to recall, and perfectly exemplifies his hard-edged style that makes even the most dedicated wall-flowers jump, or rather, boogie, onto the dance floor. "The Bo Diddley Beat" has been adapted by artists ranging from U2 to Bruce Springsteen. Diddley, while no longer able to craft new tunes, gave the music community an integration of styles that will keep on bopping for many years to come.

Tim Russert, age 58

Passed away June 13th of a heart attack

Journalists and their profession have been gaining more and more notoriety as the pace of the world at large and the skepticism of society have surged upward. There are very few contemporary reporters who have the trust of the people the way, for instance, Murrow possessed the nation's attention many years ago- Tim Russert was one of them. He was THE one. There is no need to remind you of this man's accomplishments- there have been various "In Memory" features presented over the past two days from those who had personal experience with him. It's clear from every person who has spoken on his behalf that he touched many, many lives. Broadcast journalists are rare to shed a tear- indeed I remember when watching the 9/11 reports my surprise that they were able to remain so stoic in a time of such emotion. So, when Andrea Mitchell welled up on the air when recalled Russert, (she was one of many) it's only painfully clear that this man's smile and passion weren't reserved for the camera, but for all who he encountered on his path. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHhDEGk8Sxa

Post-Tonys

I'm higher than 96th Street after watching the fabulous Lin-Manuel Miranda quite literally raised to the roof of Radio City by his fellow cast members after "In the Heights" deservingly won the Tony award for Best Musical. Amid criticism of its too-polished ending and grit-less portrayal of the Washington Heights neighborhood and a few days in the lives of those who lived within it, the Latin/Hip-Hop/Meringue/Classic Broadway show now has an even better chance of carrying its message of hope to audiences across the globe. 

This year's Tony broadcast was one of my favorites in years, with less emphasis on the drawn-out technical speeches and a greater spotlight on the performances within the shows themselves, the greatest winner of the evening was Broadway itself. Every showcase of the night.. . save one Grease was inspiring, and a testament to the power of the stage. The very rare standing ovation at the Tonys was granted to Patti LuPone's faster and more powerful than a speeding bullet rendition of "Everything's Coming Up Roses" from "Gypsy". After just digging up an old recording of The Merm performing the same number several Tonys ago, I think that the woman who allegedly could "hold a note longer than the Chase Manhattan Bank" has been throughly shown up by the brassy and glorious mouth of Mrs. Patti-"Shut up- I haven't done this in 29 years!" Lupone. 

Even "Cry Baby", a show that I know truly considers itself lucky to be nominated selected a number which focused on Rob Ashford's brilliant choreography and the show's masterful (and 6-pack blessed) male chorus. I felt as if Passing Strange could have chosen a stronger song to perform, rather than the repetitious second part of "Keys", but the cast's energy as directed by Stew was as fine an advertisement as any for the scrappy underdog of a show. Although "In the Heights" and "Passing Strange" were clearly the artistic highlights of the new musical season, in my secret heart of hearts, I was hoping for "Xanadu" to push through and win... anything. It was certainly one of the more entertaining nights I have ever spent in a theatre- of course, seeing Cheyenne Jackson stand onstage in a pair of short-shorts would rank pretty high up in its own right. 

Although by its second intermission, and third hour, I was thinking I should have packed a picnic dinner to "August: Osage County", it was fantastic to see an "American show" put on by "theatre actors" triumph so profoundly. Extra kudos to playwright Tracy Letts for inserting this not-so subliminal jab at movie performers gone stage right after Daniel Radcliff presented the award. Not that it's going to stop me from buying tickets to see "Equus" this fall. Oh wait, I already bought them! 

On a final note, my living room blanket is now sopping wet following the reunion of the original RENT cast for "Seasons of Love". I think I let out more tears than a PMS-ing girl at a chick flick, as Anthony Rapp gave his introduction. Of course, matters were not aided by the fact that I had already done my share of bawling after Lin-Manuel Miranda won for best score and proceeded to rap out his thanks. Every year, I spend The Oscars greedily hovering over my betting cards, The Grammys rocking out to lip synched tunes, and the Emmys wondering who half the people nominated are. But in mid-June, the tissue box is broken out at The Tonys; as I witness composers, performers, directors, and producers who have given their lives to that institution which I place over democracy and the US appeals system in my heart; the American Theatre. 

Some Quick Random Thoughts

Hey guys! Just so you know, I am taking off on a wildlife retreat in Wyoming and Montana for the next week, so I won't be updating the blog until Sunday when I shall be blogging about the Tonys. I'm just going to do a quick prediction list tonight of my predications of winners as I must finish stuffing my backpack. But first, may I just say what an amazing man that Paul Newman is?! If you've ever boughten a "Newman's Own" brand product- they range from popcorn to salad dressing, you may know that the proceeds from them go to charity. Well, the end sum was revealed today as Newman reportedly sent out $120 million in charity. Can you ever comprehend that much money? Take a note from this celebrities! Newman, currently struggling with lung cancer has truly shown himself to be a both a classic film star and quite the gentleman. Well played, sir.

Here are the Tony predictions: 

Best Play: August: Osage County

Best Musical: In the Heights

Best Book of a Musical: Passing Strange

Best Original Score: In the Heights

Best Revival of a Play: Macbeth

Best Revival of a Musical: South Pacific

Leading Actor in a Play: Patrick Stewart: Macbeth

Leading Actress in a Play: Amy Morton: August: Osage County

Leading Actor in a Musical: Paulo Szot: South Pacific

Leading Actress in a Musical: Patti Lupone: Gypsy

Featured Actor in a Play: Jim Norton: The Seafarer

Featured Actress in a Play: Roni Reed: August: Osage County

Best Featured Actor in a Musical: Boyd Gaines: Gypsy

Best Featured Actress in a Musical: Laura Benanti: Gypsy

Best Direction of a Play: Anna D. Shapiro: August: Osage County

Best Director of a Musical: Bartlett Sher: South Pacific

Best Choreography: Rob Ashford: Cry-Baby

Best Orchestrations: Stew and Hedi Rodewald: Passing Strange

Best Scenic Design of a Play: August: Osage County

Best Scenic Design of a Musical: In the Heights

Best Costume Design of a Play: Cyrano de Bergerac

Best Costume Design of a Musical: South Pacific

Best Lighting Design of a Play: August: Osage County

Best Lighting Design of a Musical: Sunday in the Park with George

Best Sound Design of a Play: Rock n' Roll

Best Sound Design of a Musical: In the Heights

See you all on Sunday!

Saved By the Good Word of the Disney Cooperation

One of my more vivid memories of childhood involves the first moment I stumbled upon the Britney Spears music video for "Baby One More Time". To my mom's dismay, I found the clip liberating and powerful. Susan B. Anthony was just some words in a textbook about women's rights, but here, as I turned on my television, was a girl who tapped her pencil through math class much as I did, who suddenly was able to break out of her confining world and into a free and sexy dance. While the story is somewhat... tarnished by the past year's escapes of the video's star, I still remember that emancipation as I saw that a young woman only needed an altered schoolgirl uniform to escape the restraints of society. Ten years ago, Britney's innocent sex appeal was lauded by fans all over the world, but a decade after "Baby One More Time" hit MTV, if a young singer should so much as rip off a button on her blouse, the world rumbles with rage.

With something of a lack of Jonathan Edwards', and the recent fall in the charts of "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God", the messages of purity and faith have fallen into more universally appealing hands; musicians. Specifically, two of the most popular currently selling to the tween set- Miley Cyrus (aka Hannah Montana) and The Jonas Brothers. While I'm not in any way condoning the booze binges of Britney or the crack-dens of Amy Winehouse, I must admit that the utter goodness of these artists is somewhat painful to behold. I'm not afraid to admit that I have boughten a Jonas Brothers CD, and it frequently shows up on my gym playlists, but for three devastatingly attractive young men to take a vow a purity until marriage, and even wear special rings to advertise this sanctity is horrifying. As for Miley Cyrus, the girl can't even pose for artistic photographs in the presence of her father without the sky falling down on her. This isn't a question of religion and God, but one more of letting our kids live out their own lives. We are constantly telling them to "be who they are" and not confine themselves to what others may think. But if showing a shirtless back is causes the next crucifixion, that seems like something of a contradictory message. I totally appreciate the strength it may take to hold to one's religious ideals, but there is a time when a young girl should take that Catholic school uniform and rip it off... or fashionably alter it... but if they see such grave consequences and societal outrage at a Vanity Fair cover, they might never feel like they have the liberty or power to do so. 

The Craziest Author Alive

Although since the summer before the year I went into seventh grade, I have been cherishing and exploring the expansive and often operatic works of Stephen King, the "Master of Horror" has never caused me to loose a night of sleep. I recommend his books to anyone interested in pursuing his particular genre of fiction, and friends who want to feel a shiver or two up their spine. I find his nonfiction musings in works such as "On Writing" and "Danse Macabe" insightful and engaging, and his "Dark Tower" series is a magnum opus truly worthy of one of the most published and loved contemporary authors. I believe all this, but still, I don't find his novels to be genuinely terrifying. No, the writer who has kept my nightlight on and teddy bear close more midnights than I should like to admit is Mark Z. Danielewski. 

I first heard of this man- who, judging by the content of his work, could only be considered legitimately insane or disturbed, when eavesdropping on a conversation between two of my friends. One was a guy who in my previous assumptions about him, was one who would be more likely to roll his eyes when watching a horror movie than cower under the blankets. Sarcastic and a tad introverted, he was one of the last people I would expect to admit to having recurring nightmares from a book. Naturally, I was intrigued, and also anxious to pick up a copy and promptly begin to tease him for being such a wimp in the face of what I thought would be stupidity. So, I went out to Barnes and Noble to buy "House of Leaves". Now, I do most of my reading in the hour before I go to bed, in order to unwind from the daily grind, so I settled in and cracked to spine on this new purchase. On the first page, I see an advisory: "This is not for you". I chuckle slightly at the wittiness of the inclusion. The first sentence of the novel begins, "I still have nightmares". And yes, now that around a month has passed since I concluded my first read of the novel, I still do. Without giving too much away, Daneilewski has crafted a complex series of narratives- told through something like a thesis, written by a blind man about a film which details the experiences of a family who moves into a house that is bigger on the inside than the outside- basically, it has a constantly shifting labyrinth instead of a finished basement. The dissertation is interspersed with footnotes to books, news articles and movies which have never existed, as well as notes which sometimes span several pages regarding the drug (or is it?) induced loss of sanity by a tattoo parlor employee. The book isn't written the way that normal literature is meant to be- but rather in a style that has created its own mode of expression- sometimes there is only a word or two per page, and other times, the words themselves take the formation of what is being described in them- a doorway, or a pitfall. The whole concept of the malevolence in the darkness had me breaking into a cold sweat when I turned the lights off the first night. Obviously, I never again picked up the book when after sundown. Oh? Did I mention that last year, this was assigned as a reading project for a school bookgroup? A high school bookgroup? The utter fright contained within the pages is enough to send the coldest of adults reeling, and when one factors in the frequent and somewhat graphic sex by the narrator, you're looking at a PTA nightmare. During the period that the novel was to be read by the class, I could easily see that the dark circles under many people's eyes were more pronounced than usual- and if that indication wasn't strong enough, one would only have to listen to the constant complaints of nightmares and sleeping difficulty. It's that bad.

Recently, I picked up Danielewski's most recent publication- "Only Revolutions", which some critics proclaimed a "road novel". I don't know what sort of warped universe they've fallen into, but last I checked, "On the Road" was a road novel- not a bi-narrative that requires flipping the book to the alternate cover every 8 pages and is written in an odd format of alternating dates of historical events and the diaries of two young adults which eventually converge at the Kennedy assassination. I've read my share of seriously warped and twisted books in my lifetime- but Danielewski is by far the most twisted author currently published. Excuse me- I must go and investigate when his next book is coming out. 

Why Can't They Be Friends?

Angelina Jolie against her father, Jon Voight. Candy versus Tori Spelling. Jennifer Lopez facing Gwyneth Paltrow. Celebrity feuds are as frequent and well publicized as divorces in Hollywoodland; and usually much more messy. Since Bette Davis and Joan Crawford allegedly battled on the set of "Mommie Dearist", the media has lapped up every minor and greatly confrontational spat that goes on between the stars of the screen. While I'm sure many of the men in the world wouldn't mind a mud-wrestling match between Paltrow and Lopez, a mud-slinging competition can turn from ridiculous to pathetic before you can say "tabloid cover". It would be quite wonderful indeed to imagine that all the beautiful and glamorous actors and directors of Beverly Hills and LA floated about as gods and goddesses of our pop culture, yet for every Entertainment Tonight story chronicling Bono's charity work, there is another for Rosie O' Donnell and Donald Trump having a battle of the bad hair. While many of these feuds are blown greatly out of proportion by entertainment media outlets, one wonders why many celebrities, such as Trump and O' Donnell would allow their war of words to go so public. It does no benefit to eithers career, unless you count Rosie as being awarded "Most Annoying Celebrity" at Hollywood.com. Other than the somewhat tragic daddy issues of Angelina Jolie and Jon Voight, the most emotional reaction that the engagers of these arguments can expect from watchers is an eye roll and shake of the head.  

Most recently, two of the more talented living directors, Spike Lee and Clint Eastwood have found themselves in a verbal confrontation that most would have expected to be below the two legends. Lee took Eastwood's statement to "Shut his face" regarding Lee's remarks about the racial makeup seriously in Eastwood's films seriously. Come on, Spike Lee! This is Clint Eastwood! Out and about Hollywood Republican and Badass, he's not one to be subtle. "Shut his face" could easily be interpreted as "Ok, whatever" when said by a more passive person. This is the man, who, when asked about gun control, responded, "If there's a gun around, I want to be controlling it," and later on a CNN interview clearly stated how his mind worked, "I tried being reasonable, I didn't like it." Lee does have something of a point about the lack of African-American soldiers in Eastwood's war films, but his remark of, "First of all, the man is not my father and we're not on a plantation either," has all the tact and class of Eastwood's previous remark. Many a film fan would expect and hope that two such prestigious directors as Lee and Eastwood would be able so resolve, or at least pass over their differences instead of bringing them to national attention. One can only hope for a reconciliation, so that these two men can resume what they do best- making movies. 

Mamma Mia Here We Go Again

Since Catherine Zeta Jones purred out the opening lines of "All That Jazz" in 2002 with the movie version of the classic show "Chicago", Hollywood has seen a 'second coming' of the movie musical. The genre, one of the most popular in cinema, from the second Academy Award best-picture winner, "Broadway Melody" in 1929 , was all but wiped away in the 1980's and 90's; with the final nail in the coffin- "Xanadu", which was so sublimely awful, in addition, it all but totally destroyed the careers of Gene Kelly and Olivia Newton John. The woes of Xanadu are almost wiped from memory, and this summer, Meryl Streep, one of the remaining legendary actresses of Hollywood, is taking the leap into an adaption of "Mamma Mia!", a "jukebox musical" using the songs of ABBA to back a somewhat-flimsy, but still enjoyable story-line.

Over the past six years, both the silver screen and the Broadway stages have elevated each other to new heights. As often as movie producers have dipped into the ever-warming waters of material on the Great White Way, composers and book-writers have relied upon the support and ideas of their California counterparts. In recent years, the Grandest Canyon has played host to musical versions of "Legally Blonde", "Hairspray" (which was likewise adapted back into a movie musical following the success of the stage version), "Mary Poppins", "The Little Mermaid, "Spamalot", "Cry Baby", "Young Frankenstein", and even... "Xanadu". Fortunately, the recent production played off the campiness of the material in an extremely effective manner, and is even now nominated for the "Best Musical" Tony presented June 15th. Movie musicals are frequently frowned upon by the Broadway bloggers and snootier members of the theatrical community for being unoriginal and catered to blockbuster-seeking tourists rather than more sophisticated Broadway audience members. There may be truth in this, as in examining the list above, only "Spamalot", "Hairspray" and "Xanadu" have been met with critical and audience praise, though "Mary Poppins" and "Little Mermaid" continue to play to full houses weekly. Though no one can deny that Mel Brooks' adaption of "The Producers" effectively 'saved' the American musical in 2001, and pulled it through the depression following 9/11. "Billy Elliot", with a score by Elton John, arriving later this year, is rumored to follow in "The Producers" footsteps as a massive moneymaking hit. 

For as much as Broadway chooses the more light-hearted and even soul-less selections out of Hollywood's catalogue, the most successful adaptions of recent movie musicals are some of the darkest seen in the Big Apple. "Sweeney Todd", released last winter with Johnny Depp starring, is one of the more commercially difficult Broadway ventures- typically a difficult sell to tourists due to its morbid and operatic plot-line. "Chicago"'s stage incarnation is even blacker and more cynical than its Oscar-winning movie version; with it's original production running just over two years, and losing the best musical race (honorably) to "A Chorus Line". Although this summer's "Mamma Mia", and last year's  hit, "Hairspray" are pure fluff and fun, upcoming projects look to follow the darker side of the genre. "Nine", chronicling a film-maker's struggle for connection and identity, (2009) will surely re-define the genre with a cast-list reading like a "Who's Who" for Hollywood, with stars including Daniel Day Lewis, Nicole Kidman, Judi Dench, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard and Sophia Loren. "Follies", a Sondheim creation chronicling the lost loves and haunted memories of aging and tormented chorus dancers, (allegedly 2009, but I'm betting on an extension) was one of the most mysterious and lauded flops in Broadway history, with no major revival ever mounted due to the enormous costs required in design. The original production has become something of a myth in Broadway culture, as one of the most perfect and wrongly-done musicals of all time. The age of Hollywood's song and dance men and their toe-tapping routines has faded, and (for now at least), the silver screen has developed a more sophisticated and refined taste and definition of when song should be broken into. I, for one, am mesmerized. Just nobody mention the word "Xanadu", and we should be looking forward to many movie musicals to come.

Drank: Slow Your Roll

I seem to have gone on some sort of a movie-blogging binge over the past couple of days, so I figure that today seems ideal to discuss the "pop" in pop culture. Well, only if you're in the western US. Otherwise the pun is lost on your who refer to this soft drink as "soda" or something of the like. You know, Coke, Mountain Dew, Pepsi- any of those carbonated beverages loaded with what Americans crave most: caffeine. Apparently though, in our increasingly fast-paced society, these conventional drinks just don't provide the level of energy that is required, so now whenever on strolls into a gas station they are confronted with towering fridges filled with brands such as Red Bull and Rockstar. Well, a Houston based company has apparently taken notice of our country's over-caffination, and devised an alternative. Notice- "alternative" rather than "substitute". It's called Drank and it's clever slogan is "Slow Your Roll". Drank is the anti-energy drink. 

Some of who hail from the South may be familiar with Drank in its primary manifestation as a recreational drug in the hip hop community. It usually is concocted with the use of cough syrup- and the excess codeine within it. Consuming an excess amount of Drank or cough syrup can cause an overly sedated and euphoric feeling with what some describe as "altered states of consciousness." Having personally sat next to a young man who daily chugged cough syrup as if it were his morning orange juice in an english course, from an outsider's perspective, it seems to lead to cold sweat, a pale complexion, and frequent trips to the bathroom. In fact, the drink leads to cardiac and respiratory arrest, a condition experienced by the very man who popularized the concoction and later died from its effects. 

The Houston-based Drank company is not illegally packaging cough syrup under a soft drink label. They (for what it's worth) have instead devised a mix of replacement ingredients; three of which are Melatonin, Valerian Root, and rose hips. For those without a degree in herbology, let me fill you in. Melatonin is a hormone already found in the human body. It has recently been utilized by companies as a dietary supplement- but only in the US. Use of the ingredient is still illegal in the EU and New Zealand. Melatonin is also frequently administered to those suffering from ADHD as a sleep aide, a treatment for depression and seasonal affective disorder and a fertility enhancement for women. It's basically a naturally occurring tranquilizer- with the small side affect of causing wildly vivid dreams to those who consume it. Valerian Roots go back in usage to ancient Greece and Rome as a mild sedative. In reality, the roots are not overly potent, and there are few side effects associated with them. Rose hips are a popular natural remedy to arthritis and urinary bladder infections. They are packed with vitamin C and sometimes used to cure colds. Drank certainly uses purely natural ingredients which suggest that it does what it advertises quite well. Of course, one might question the misuse of potent natural substitutes for chemical concoctions in both legal and ethical terms. However, for the moment, Drank is a new alternative to those pesky "energy" drinks for the consumer who just has too little to do. 

School's Out For Movies

    After many recommendations and ardent insisting from many of my closer friends, I broke my boycott on Nicolas Cage movies that I had been carrying since he single-handedly took down a hardcore superhero (Ghostrider) and a classic horror movie (Wicker Man) in less than a two year time frame. I begrudgingly rented a copy of National Treasure 2 from my local Blockbuster, and Ladies and Gentlemen, I can now state that the Nicolas Cage ban is once again in place. A flimsy and cliched action movie plot does one thing to insult my intelligence as a movie-goer, but blatant historical inaccuracy by a character in trust is quite another. Especially when the subject of attack is a topic of my own studious devotion; presidential assassinations. Nicolas Cage goes around spouting out complete misconceptions about the event, and other American historical occurrences in general in his dry and talentless voice. To save you all any unwanted pain, I'll mention just one that particularly irked me. The expression, "His name is mud". You don't hear it that often anymore except from cute old grandmothers or flustered mothers, but it merits addressing anyway. According to Cage's character, Ben, the saying originated after Dr. Samuel Mudd was convicted in the Lincoln assassination plot, thereby wrecking the past and future of his entire clan; and thus whenever a family member did an act to tarnish their relative's good names, their name would also be Mud. Cute, but not accurate. The expression had been in widespread use for a decade or two prior to the Lincoln assassination. What's more, Mudd really wasn't all that bad of a guy. In fact, he was actually pardoned for his involvement in the Lincoln assassination after helping out his fellow prisoners in a yellow fever epidemic. In fact, there isn't any truly solid evidence that Mudd was involved in the conspiracy at all- though every historian does have their favored point of view. 

This little etymological slip is really just a snowflake on the ice-cube that float in Hollywood's thriving tea of historical carelessness. I just thought I would point it out seeing what an interesting character Mudd was behind a faulty saying. Usually, Hollywood chooses to "muddy up" less intriguing subjects, you know, like gladiator fighting in the obviously titled Russell Crowe film, of the greatest playwright of all time in "Shakespeare in Love". Of course, seeing these events in their actual context would be excruciatingly boring, it's just frustrating when a horny teenager comes blubbering up to one thinking that they know all about ancient Spartan warfare, when really all they've seen are some scantily clad men running about yelling loud noises. Really, people. All it takes is a little visit to wikipedia to confirm your facts. Or you know...Encyclopedia Britannica, or something like that... 

Super Heroes?

If anyone who reads this blog was going through adolescence, or even taking their first dip into the "maturity" in 1978, I envy you greatly. Well, maybe there's a little pity there as well since the Bee Gees were going through the height of their popularity while Keith Moon left the world for rock-god heaven that year, but I'm jealous of you for your films; one in particular- Superman. The movie that promised, "You'll believe a man can fly!" and featured Christopher Reeve in all his wire-strung glory- not that anyone was looking for them back then. Seeing Reeve rise above the clouds and exemplify justice, freedom, the American Way and all that we Earthlings could only hope for in our dreams must have been miraculous, and I so wish I could I been there to feel it. Back in 1978, and the years in World War II that saw the birth and golden age of comic books, Superheroes truly were super. They represented the shining example of what we should all strive to become- flawless and beautiful in their perfection. Their powers were merely a blessing which allowed them to better carry out their noble duties and serve the patriotic people of their country. In this summer of 2008, with four major superhero movies arriving in cinemas during these months of sun and surf, seeing a man fly is no longer breathtaking and liberating; in fact, in these contemporary days, it is something of a curse.

Modern society seems to hate the extraordinary. We've become more and more cynical as our world sinks into an energy and environmental crisis, and it seems more plausible to see a protagonist grappling with moral ambiguity and revenge issues than to see one who is motivated purely by goodwill. When sacrifice is brought up, we would rather focus on what is being given up than what is being gained. Our current crop of cinematic heroes reflects this trend in the utmost. Tony Stark drowns away his troubles with alcohol, and must do great wrong before he can be inspired to do right. Redemption here is another key issue. These superbeings atoning for their past shows to us that though we are allegedly living in the end of times, we also may redeem ourselves. Bruce Banner as The Hulk is another similarly troubled Super- tormented by his government and his condition as he flees across the globe. Finally, a new entry into the Superhero cannon this summer is Hancock as played by Will Smith. Here we are looking at an alcoholic homeless bum who only agrees to reform his ways to wave away a prison sentence. Classy. Yes, I am aware of the age-old rule, "There is no drama without conflict," but I for one wouldn't mind believing that not only can a man fly, but do so out of the goodness of his own free heart.

Hulu Hooping is Back in Style!

As the youtube revolution that has spanned the past three or four years continues to make stars out of anyone and everyone who possesses talents ranging from a talent in etymology to lip synching on demand. There is (occasionally) genuine talent to be found and knowledge to be shared (though straight and female, I am an ardent fan of hotforwords), yet finding those diamonds in the rough can be an arduous task of shifting through mountains of dreck and lunatics speaking in diatribes to their webcams. youtube has become the contemporary equivalent to knocking on doors at a talent agency, and this time, any schumck can take up the part. If amateur hour on the internet is your deal, youtube is like the virtual Apollo, but if you choose where to waste your time with a little more class and discretion, hulu.com is the place for you.

Hulu is a site which compiles the individual seasons and episodes that have previously been available on network sites such as abc.com and nbc.com; bringing an impressive arsenal of shows both modern (i.e House, The Office and Family Guy) and vintage (Fame, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Alfred Hitchcock Presents). All the videos are legitimate and professional; there is no need to worry about the constant deleting and difficult as on youtube. The shows are formatted in one high-resolution presentation with the small hinderance of about 4 commercials per hour. It's less than you would see on a network television airing, and it helps maintain the costless featuring of the material. While watching old TV programs might not be your fix, hulu also shows dozens of movies from across the decades. Some of these are classic and much lauded, such as Moonstruck, Some Like it Hot and The Big Lebowski, while others are somewhat...pathetic. I'm thinking of you, Hercules in New York. So much for wading through the dreck. 

Some may point out that the site is just another clever form for advertisers to spread their word in a tivo, spam-conscious society, but I for one can tolerate a couple of car commercials in exchange for some on-demand viewing. Hulu is one of those rare inventions that benefits both the money-challenged slacker as well as the power-hungry capitalist executive. Hopefully the site can overcome its somewhat dopey name and rise to the challenge of providing to the world more of what 99.9% of its population craves: free stuff. 

A Universal Loss

Today was a monumental day in the history of the movie industry. We have suffered a loss so profound and tragic that I still find it difficult to comprehend. As of today, the clocktower square set and the King Kong "House" on the Universal Backlot no longer exist. Today, we must remember the lives of these two landmarks and look back on all the wonderful times we had in one another's company. 

The clocktower that became famous after appearing in the classic eighties movie, Back to the Future seems to suffer continuous dangers and threats other than Doc Brown's ungraceful foot and freak lightening storms. The set, as it stood before dawn this morning, was not the exact structure upon which Christopher Lloyd saved the space time continuum, but rather a replica. The original building burned down in a backlot fire. No- this is not some paranormal altering of the temporal universe by Biff Tannen. In August of 1990, the entire square was devastated by the blaze, but miraculously, the clocktower itself survived. The area was reconstructed and has since been used in films and television series including Bruce Almighty, Gremlins and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You would think that such a popular and useful shooting location would be well-kept and preserved, but in September of 1997, another backlot fire destroyed the area almost completely. Both times, clocktower square was rebuilt for future films to utilize and tourists to gawk at as they passed it by. On a side note, whilst the cast and crew were not able to use the original set in the third installment of Back to the Future due to the 1990 fire, an alternate was constructed in Sonara, CA. After production was completed, the structures were left up at the request of the area head. However, in 1996, the Sonara clocktower was struck by lightning and burned down. 

The King Kong warehouse has a somewhat less colorful history, yet has become just as popular a sight for visitors to Universal Studios over the past two decades. The building was part of the Universal backlot tram tour (along with the clocktower); constructed specifically for the purpose of entertaining tourists in March of 1986. The tram bearing passengers would approach the building as guides commented on the scent of bananas in the air around them, and would subsequently be witnesses to Kong's wrath as he destroyed New York City around the vehicle. The animated monkey was at the time the world's largest animatronic figure standing thirty feet tall and weighing seven tons. Just a year after he was built, a 1987 fire destroyed many sets around the building, but Kong was fortunately spared. 

It is almost guaranteed that Universal will rapidly begin on reconstruction of the now infamous Clocktower Square. At the present time, reports indicate the the tower itself was spared the worst of the damage. As for Kong; the backlot entertainment undergoes frequent renovations based on current projects and trends. Universal may choose to resurrect the giant ape, but it would be my guess (and hope) that they will pioneer a new sight for some of the park's 25,000 daily visitors. Or maybe, another on-site fire house.