Bitten By the Vampire

Wizards are so passe. With the (popular would be an understatement) Harry Potter series completed last summer, the hordes of young teen readers went out in search of another fantastical adventure to occupy themselves with something other than fan fiction between the Potter movies release dates. The soon-to-be trilogy of Eragon, chronicling the adventures of a young knight and his female dragon pal, drove many fans away following the poorly produced film version and the sloppy second installment. Instead, Rowling and Paolini followers have been flocking toward a new author, Stephenie Meyer, and her new saga of novels, "Twilight", "New Moon", Eclipse", and on August second, "Breaking Dawn". While vampire stories, since Bram Stoker's "Dracula", have relied on sexual relations as a key tool for horror and allurement, Meyer, an observant Mormon, has transitioned this lust to what seems to be a more effective (and appropriate) level of involvement. Rather than the creepy licks, bites and sucks that creatures of the night typically have been known to dole out, the vamps in Meyer's novels need hundreds of pages merely to build up to hand holding. I attempted to read "Twlight" about a year ago, and was so outraged at this taming of the beast, that I immediately returned it to my friend, who then proceeded to verbally abuse me for my opinions. As an avid follower of horror fiction, I wanted desperately to enjoy this new generation of evil, but to me, the romantic male hero of the series, Edward Cullen, a vampire who appallingly snacks on animal blood, was effectively a neutering of one of my favorite mystical creatures. 

Stephen King's "Danse Macabe", a literary work which one can safely call the "Bible" of horror films, books and mythology leading up until 1980, explains vampires in one of the most exact definitions that I have ever read:

"Beauty and the beast. You are in my power. Heh-heh-heh. It's that primal rape scene again. And the primal, perverse rapist is the Vampire, stealing not only sexual favors but life itself."

While "Dracula" set the foundation for the blood-sucking mythos, most of my personal experience and love of this particular monster comes from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". No, I'm not ashamed to say it loud and proud. I own every season of the show on DVD, and frequently work out to repeated viewings of my favorite episodes. If you even existed in the late 1990's, I'm sure that you were forced or volunteered to see the vamps strolling the streets of Sunnydale- carrying no small hints of bondage. While we did encounter the occasional sympathetic demon on the program- most famously, Angel and Spike, the rest of their race were frequently ugly (a mortal sin on "Buffy"), stupid and very very evil. To me, this is how the genre was meant to be done. At least, in regards to the first five seasons. After that the show became something of an exercise in idiocy. In their human forms, the vampires referred to wayward humans in sexual nicknames including, "toy", "puppy", "dog" and "dessert". I think there was more torture- at least implied- done by the baddies on "Buffy" than on/by Jack Bauer on "24". 

The vampire romance genre has been employed frequently by authors in genres ranging from horror to pornographic romance, and until now have always played their role as the sexual predator, one with whom the viewer/reader and heroine of the work is not entirely turned off by. While I always can appreciate and acknowledge a new interpretation, until the next rabidly sexual, totally evil vamp decides to rear his handsome head, I'll be occupying myself with the adventures of Buffy, Willow, and some serious slaying action, which in my book, beats hand holding any day.